i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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