Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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