u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
