Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
