I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
