having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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