I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
