Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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