let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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