My brain says no but my pants say off.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
