They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
