Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
