Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
