so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
