the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Randomize
