Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
