I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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