just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
