I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
