Sponge bath it is.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
