when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
