my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
