butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
