how can u be prego again
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
