I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
