I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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