That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
