just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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