U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
