Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
