Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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