i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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