Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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