what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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