how can u be prego again
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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