in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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