Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
