Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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