I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
