I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
