The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
