Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Success! We fucked roommates!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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