I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
