Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
