OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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