Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
