Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
