If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
