Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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