No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
