Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
