My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
