Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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